Sticky Side of Heaven


Please feel free to respond to any of my thoughts. I love interactive discussion!
My e-mail is liltoad2000@aol.com.

 
(This is literally the FOURTH time I am writing this blog. My previous blogs have been wiped out by various computer errors....grrr, my swear limit for the day was broken a long time ago!)

It's been a few days since I've been on blogger (2 days, I think) and I was re-reading my old posts and laughing and feeling a bit nostalgic. Then my brain kicked in (it’s a little dim sometimes and takes a while to catch up on current events) and started thinking "Whoa, wait a minute! This stuff just happened last week, in fact...ITS STILL HAPPENING! You can't feel nostalgic, you nut! Hello!!" Funny thing, life.

I look back on the frustrations of my first several years in graduate school and think "those were the days!!" I really do! I could weep a little weep if I thought about it deep enough, those days were really special. Hunh? I must be crazy! I want life to be perfect and lovely and no worries and Will to be wonderful non-stop and I want to go live with the monks and hum all day, no troubles. Ever. ??? Get a life! Of course those were the days, frustration apparently makes life fun, it spices it up and you gain character that way. If you don’t mind, I’d rather get my character at Happyworld while drinking a low-fat strawberry margarita (extra large, if you please).

I'm starting to understand the premise of Jack Nicholson's recent film. What if this really is as good as it gets? Why am I so focused on this perfect future and convinced that today is a horrible trial and must be ‘gotten through.’ Maybe I really will look back on this experience and think that it was a great and wondrous time. I want to enjoy it now, not with the bittersweet reminiscing of tomorrow. I want to remember that I lived every minute of it in the present. Though I may not have necessarily enjoyed every minute of it, I still want to have lived it now, and not be in the future where I always seem to be trying to live. If I'm living in the future, what will I eventually have to look back upon?

When I was in high school, I wrote a poem or a story, I don’t remember which, that involved a concept I liked very much. It said that every experience you have is lovingly tucked away, perhaps unconsciously, into a quiet place. And someday when you are sitting alone and feeling a little chill, you can take out a memory and wrap it warmly around yourself like one of Papa’s afghans. Well, I need to go, got some memories to make.


A dragon lives forever, but not so little boys
Painted wings and giants's rings make way for other toys.
One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave
So, Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave, oh

Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.
Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.

Puff, The Magic Dragon by Peter, Paul and Mary
posted by Candice at 2:38 PM